Baby Jokes

One doctor to another: Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Another doctor: Because they're handmade.
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How can you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through its head.
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The whole hospital was amusingly surprised when a 70 year old man became the father of a kid, with a 20 year old girl.
The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow, saying: "This is amazing. How did you do it at your age?"
The 70 year old answered, "You got to keep the old motor running."
The next year, the young bride gave birth again.
The same nurse said: "You're amazing. How do you do it?" He again said: "You've got the keep the old motor running."
Again, the third consecutive year, his wife gave birth to another kid.
The nurse then said: "Well, well, well!!! You certainly are quite a man!"
Now, the old man said, "You've got to keep that old motor running"
The nurse said: "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black."
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When Smiths went to get their son William checked in a hospital, the doctor told them, "You have a cute baby."
Mr. Smith said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."
"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."
"So what do you say to the others?" asked Mr. Smith.
The doctor said, "He looks just like you."
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Hearing a scream from the playroom, Martha, the mother, rushed in and found her infant son pulling the hair of his 3 year-old sister.
After separating them, Martha said to her daughter, "Don't be upset with your brother, honey. He didn't know he was hurting you."
No sooner had the mother returned to the kitchen than she heard more screaming.
This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. "Now what happened?" she asked.
"Nothing," said the girl, "except that now he knows."
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Salon was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother said, "Well dear..." "The stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too", she replied.
Somewhat irritated, but peaceful, he asked, "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?"
His mother replied, "Well darling, the stork brought them too!"
After a week Salon submitted his report, on which was written: 'This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.'
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