Bar Jokes

A gorilla wanted some adventure and ventured into a bar. He ordered a cold beer. The bartender gave it to him and said "that'll be $25."
After some minutes, initiating conversation, the bartender asked - "Lately there have not been many gorillas round these parts."
The gorilla retorted, "At these prices, you won't get many more, either!"
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Alberto Costa, after a long tennis season, went to retire. He thought of enjoying and went to a bar. Alberto sat next to a man with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" he asked.
"No," was the reply.
Hardly some minutes had passed; the dog took a huge chunk out of Alberto's leg. Alberto said to the man, "You said your dog doesn't bite!"
The man replied, "That's not my dog,"
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Two vampires, Kill Wish and Drill Wish, went to Dracula Bar.
Kill Wish ordered: "I'll have a glass of blood."
Drill Wish ordered: "I'll have a glass of plasma."
Bartender: "Okay," "that'll be ... one blood and one blood lite..."
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One day, a little pig walked into a bar. He drank heavily, paid the amount and asked the bartender, "Which way to the bathroom?" She answered, "Go down the hall, first door on your left." The pig went to the bathroom and left.
The next day another little pig came into the bar. The similar thing happened to him too. This went on for another week.
One day a pig walked in, drank and started to walk out.
The bartender stopped him and asked, "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?"
The little pig replied "No, I'm going wee wee wee all the way home..."
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An Alaska guy went to a bar with his 8 ft tall giraffe. Despite the strange stares from other bar occupants, they proceed to drink themselves silly and drank heavily. The giraffe stood up and knelt down. At this, his companion stood up as well, settled his bar bill and started to walk out of the bar.
The bartender shouted, "Hey drunk donkey, you can't leave that lyin' here!"
The Alaska man replied, "You're the idiot... that's a giraffe, not a lion!"
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