Birthday Jokes

Adam to Ella: What do you give 900-pound gorilla for his birthday?
Ella: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!
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A husband was happy with his wife's birthday. He asked her what she wanted as a present. His wife replied, "Oh, I don't know"! Just give me something with diamonds". He bought her a pack of playing cards.
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Andrew asked his wife, what would she like for her birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, they both went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear and many more. After going through all these, she staggered out of the theme park five hours later. Her head was reeling and her stomach turning. Then they were off to a movie theater where they ate popcorn and sweets and drank Cola. Next, they ate a lot of chocolates. At last, she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Andrew asked his wife, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
Tired and fatigued, the wife replied, "Actually honey, I meant dress size!"
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
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Sandy went to doctor, "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake, what is wrong there."
Doctor: "Next time, remove the candles before eating the cake."
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Girlfriend to Boyfriend: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday.
Boyfriend: That was a thoughtful gift. Why didn't you give it?
Girlfriend: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
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Journalist asked a 120 year old lady, Mrs Sonata, is it exciting being 120?
Mrs Sonata: "It certainly is! If I wasn't 120 I'd be dead."
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What is the left side of a birthday cake?
The side that's not eaten.
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Ronan to Randy, "What did one candle say to the other?"
Randy: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
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Andrew went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Every kin and kith was invited over that night, to celebrate her fortieth birthday. Andrew wanted something special for his wife, so he went to see some cute little music boxes. A blue one was playing "Happy Birthday." Thinking they were all the same, he chose a red one and had it gift-wrapped. Later, at dinner, among the huge gathering, he gave the gift to his wife and asked her to open it. When she lifted the lid, out came the tune to "The Old Gray Mare, She Ain't What She earlier was!"
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