Business Jokes

Edwin Montgomery was going on his own on a by lane. He saw a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Edwin asked the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock."
The shepherd thought for a while and then said that is fine.
Edwin said, "Your total number of sheep is 973,"
The shepherd was astonished as it was the correct answer. He said, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Edwin picked up one animal and began to walk away.
"Wait," called up the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even, double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation."
Edwin said sure.
The shepherd said, "You are an accountant for a government department,"
Now, this was time to Edwin to get amazed. Edwin asked the shepherd, "Amazing!" "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
"Well," said, "put down my dog and I will tell you."
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An accountant, a lawyer and a mathematician, apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the recruiter calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then, the recruiter calls in the lawyer and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"
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Prof. Denis was about to get married. He went to the jeweler to get a wedding ring for his fianc?e. The jeweler told him that he can have the inside of the ring engraved with the name of his fianc?e for an additional $100. Prof Denis said, "But that will reduce the resale value!" The jeweler was aghast. He said, "How can you say such a thing. You are a butcher!"
Prof Denis calmly said, "No," I am not a butcher, I am a Professor of economics"
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Prof. Goldman had a horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office. Once a journalist asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts.
The journalist asked, "But do you believe in that superstition?"
Prof. Goldman said, "Of course not!"
The journalist asked, "But then why do you keep it?
Prof. Goldman said, "Well, it works whether you believe in it or not."
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Employer: "For this job, we need someone responsible."
Applicant: "I'm perfect for you. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, I was held responsible."
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