Divorce Jokes

The lawyer talked endlessly with the husband of his client and finally came up with good news. ?Mrs. Sandra, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you.?
?Fair to both?!? exploded Mrs. Sandra. ?I could have done that myself. What do you think I hired a lawyer for??
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95 year old David and 90 year old Martha went to a lawyer to get a divorce. The lawyer asked, "How long have you been married?"
David answered, "75 rough and rocky years"
Lawyer asked, "Then, why have you waited so long to file for divorce?"
Martha replied, "We had to wait for the kids to die!"
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Divorce is like passing a kidney stone. It hurts like hell, takes what seems forever to pass, results in an enormous bill and men will always think they have something great to show for it, when they get to keep the worthless stone.
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A famous saying on divorce: After divorce, an ex-spouse is like an inflamed appendix. They cause a lot of pain and suffering. But, after it's removed, you find you didn't need it anyway!
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Adam, the judge of family court said, "Mr. Nathan, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $500 a week."
Nathan: "That's very fair, your honor. And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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A couple was celebrating their 30th Wedding Anniversary. A friend asked the celebrating husband - "In all that time -- did you ever consider divorce?"
"Oh, no, not divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce."
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Smith asked his lawyer, "Getting a divorce from my wife seems quite expensive for me."
Lawyer replied, "But, Mr Smith, it's worth it."
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