Old Age Jokes

Brutus asked his grandfather, "Grandpa, how you become so rich?"
Grandpa: "Well, son, it was 1928 - time of the Great Depression. I was lost in financial crisis. I invested $10 in buying some chocolates. I sold them for $50. Again, next day I bought apples pricing $40. I again sold them at a profit. I had made up roughly $40 in one week. In the meanwhile, my wife's father died and left us 100 million dollars."
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Graham, an old man, went to doctor for his hearing problem. The doctor fitted a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear perfectly again. Graham returned to the doctor's in a month for a final check on the new equipment.
After some tests, the doctor proclaimed, "Your hearing is perfect!"
"Thank you for helping me," replied Graham.
"You're welcome," said the doctor. "Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
"Oh, I haven't told them yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations I used to miss," replied Graham.
The doctor guessing the reason said, "Really?" You must just not be ready to believe it yourself that you can hear now.
Graham said, "Well, that's not it exactly, but I have changed my will three times!"
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A retired man volunteered to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals. One day, he went to a local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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A woman was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of aging. When she found a gray hair, she pointed to her forehead and asked her husband, "Oh no, have you seen this?"
"What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?"
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Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I want to put it away or make a sandwich."
The second lady said, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs. I don't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem. Knock on wood," she rapped her knuckles on the table and said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!".
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