Political Jokes

Once, Atal Bihari Vajpayee was asked to tell his views on whisky. He said, "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
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Once, Bill Clinton went to meet his daughter Chelsea at Oxford. Chelsea introduced her boyfriend Casanova to her dad.
Casanova liked Bill's personality and went gaga over the meeting. He stood up and said, "Mr. President it's great to meet you. You know... you're my idol, my role model."
Bill retorted, "Hey man, that's it! I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore!"
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In an international conference at Paris, world's top leaders - Bill Clinton, Sarcozy and Hu Jintao were discussing world peace. Late in the night, they all went to a bar. The barman asked, "Le apperitive?"
All of them answered, "Oui!"
The waiter looked at Hu Jintao and asked, "Le tequila?"
Hu Jin, "Oui!"
The waiter looked at Sarcozy and asked, "Le Champagne?"
Sarcozy: "Oui!"
Finally, the waiter looked at Clinton, "Le whisky?"
Clinton: "Don't you dare mention that bitch!"
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A foreign doctor was called to do knee-surgery on Vajpayee. The doctor declared that the ex-PM would have to undergo three knee-surgeries. Everyone wondered what the heck the doctor was saying.
Later on, a reporter asked the doctor, why three knee-surgeries?
The doctor retorted: Left Knee, Right Knee and Adva-nee!!!
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Clinton to Chelsea: I want you to marry a boy of my choice
Chelsea: I want to choose my own groom.
Clinton: But the boy is Bill Gates' son.
Chelsea: Well, in that case? Yes
Next Clinton went to Bill Gates
Clinton: I have a bride for your son.
Gates: But my son is too young to marry.
Clinton: But this young girl is a vice-president of IMF.
Gates: "Ah, in that case... Yes
Finally Clinton goes to see the president of the IMF.
Clinton: I have a young woman to be recommended as a vice-president.
President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need.
Clinton: But this young woman is Bill Gates' daughter-in-law.
President: Ah, in that case? Yes.
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There was a legislative election and a politician was campaigning in a rural area. Suddenly, his eyes could see a ramshackle house and a young man milking a cow. He approached the man, ready to make his pitch for a vote.
He was about the start, when an old wise man called from inside the house. "Sebastian, get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?"
Sebastian said, "The guy says he is a politician."
The old wise man said, "In that case, better bring the cow inside with you."
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