School Jokes

Andrew asked his mother: "Why do you send me to school for."
Mother: "To make a man out of you?rather make you a gentleman."
Andrew: "But, Mom, my teacher makes a cock out of me everyday."
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Lucy was a KG student. There was drawing competition going on. She was drawing something on the paper. After a while her teacher came near her. She asked Lucy, "What are you drawing, Lucy?
Lucy replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Lucy was quick in answering, "He will in a minute."
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The fifth class students were celebrating their up-gradation. They went for a group photo along with the class teacher. The teacher, becoming emotional, said to her children, "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
Some naughty kid from backside said, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
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A class 5th teacher was telling her children about the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
The whole class affirmed it.
Then the teacher asked, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A voice from the backbenchers came, "Because, your feet are not empty."
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Teacher: You are not at all paying any attention to me. Are you having any trouble in hearing what I am saying?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble in listening to you!
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Mandy started working as an elementary school counselor and was eager to help students. One day, she noticed a girl standing alone on one side of a playing field, while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached the girl and whether she was all right. The girl said she was.
A little while later, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still alone.
Approaching again, she offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated and then said, "Okay," looking at the Sandy suspiciously.
Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
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Teacher: Why were you late?
Joe: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!
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