Short Jokes

Mother: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Little Elvis: I is the....
Mother: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Little Elvis: Ok. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
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On a crowded bus, a man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
Surprised, he asked," What's the matter? Are you sick or something?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
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Sandy asked his younger Mandy: "Do you want to hear a dirty joke?"
Mandy, hesitantly, - Ok
Sandy: A white horse fell in the mud.
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To check his servant's honesty, Andrew asked him: ?What will you do with a 100 rs. note lying on the floor? Will you keep it??
Servant: ?No, of course not.?
Master felt happy about his servant's honesty, but asked, "What will you do with it?
Servant: ?I will spend it.?
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Anantharaman Subbaraman arrived at Heathrow airport. He ended up waiting for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name.
Finally, he got fed up, went to them and asked why they haven?t called his name yet. Airport authorities responded that they have been calling him for the last two hours and were wondering why he hadn?t responded!
The reason was made clear when the immigration officer pronounced his name. He said: "Another man Superman".
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Sandy to Mandy: "Look at that young person, with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
Another person replied, "It's a girl. She's my daughter."
Sandy said, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father."
The other person quipped, "I'm not. I'm her mother."
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Little Mandy: Sir, what is an idiot?
Teacher: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that the person listening to him can't understand it. Do you get me?
Student: No, not at all.
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A person went to a TV shop and asked, "Do you have color TV?"
"Yes" replied the shop-owner.
The person said, "Give me green one."
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Sandy wanted to live really long, and for that he went to see a doctor.
Sandy: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Sandy: But, Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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A man was about to get married and for that, he wanted to have knowledge on how to handle a women. He went to a bookstore and asked the salesgirl, "Do you have a book called ?Man, The Master of Women??"
The salesgirl, pointing towards another corner of the shop, said: "The fiction department is on the other side, sir."
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Santa was in Canada. He dialed a number to talk with his relatives in Punjab. His call was attended by a girl; her name was ?Sita.?
Surprised, Santa put down the phone.
In the evening, Banta came. Seeing Santa appalled, he asked the reason
Santa said, "I dialed a number in Punjab, but it got connected to Ayodhya?"
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