Sports Jokes

A black guy from Oklahoma got admission in Yale University. He was trying to get into the university football team.
He went to team coach, the coach asked, "Can you tackle?"
The black guy asked, "Watch this," and speeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
The impressed coach said, "Wow! Can you run?"
The black guy said, "Of course I can run," He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
The mesmerized coach finally asked, "Great!" "But can you pass a football?"
The black guy stopped for a while in hesitation and then said, "Well, sir! If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it as well."
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Elvis had won a ticket to see Euro Cup. He was so happy, but when he got to the stadium and found his seat, he was somewhat disappointed. His ticket was for the last row. He became sad and started looking for another place. Finally, he saw an empty seat and decided to go down there. He reached the seat and asked the man next to the unoccupied seat if anyone was sitting there.
The man replied, "No."
So Elvis sat down and struck up a conversation, "Who would have a seat right next to the field and not come?"
The man answers, "Oh that was my wife's seat."
"Where is she?" the guy replied.
"She died."
"Oh, I'm sorry...don't you have anyone else to come with you, a brother, or friend?"
"No, they couldn't come."
"Why?"
"Because, they all are at her funeral"
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Randy was an innocent boy. He was taken to a government shelter as he was physical abused by his parents. He lived in child care for some months. Later, authorities thought to send him back to his parent's home.
The officer asked, "Well, do you want to go back and live with your father again?"
"No," replied Elvis "He beats me."
The officer asked, "Do you want to live with your mother?"
Elvis said, "No, she beats me too."
"Well, then," asked the officer, "Who do you want to live with?"
Elvis answered, "Anna Kornikova."
The officer amusingly asked, "Why Anna?
Elvis said, "Because, she never beats anyone."
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Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They got to the 17th tee, which overlooked a small lake and saw two guys out on the lake fishing.
Bill says, "Hey Earl, check out these two idiots. They are fishing' in the rain!"
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One day, a man and his friend were playing golf at their local golf course. One of the guys was about to chip onto the green when he saw a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stopped in mid-swing, took off his golf cap closed his eyes and bowed down in prayer.
His friend said: ?Wow, it is a very thoughtful and touching thing to do. You truly are a kind man.?
The man replied: ?Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.?
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