Santa Banta SMS

Driver: Sir Ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.
Santa Singh, while riding a cycle, suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maaru??!!!
Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.
Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
Santa: O Banno, Car ki speed itani kyu badha di..?
Biwi: Oji, car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai!
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept.
Santa: Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When Banta asked what he was doing....
He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!
Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead U could have posted it.
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons
One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
Santa, standing on platform, suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: You'll die.
Santa: You'll die. Haven't you heard that train is coming on the platform?
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the notes from his books when teacher erases the board.
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, but only after u leave.
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000?
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.
Santa falls in love with a nurse...
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her:
"I love u sister."
Banta ek sadhu se bola - Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go.
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai,
Hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
Aur woh teeno kambhakt peete nahin.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what he said next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.
Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the,
Ab use pehchan nahi pa raha.
Teacher asked Santa: What is d meaning of Tamso Maa Jyotir Gamaya?
Santa: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya.

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