 Driver: Sir Ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.   |
Santa Singh, while riding a cycle, suddenly hit a girl!
The girl shouted: Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!
Santa: Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maaru??!!! |
Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up. |
Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!" |
Santa: O Banno, Car ki speed itani kyu badha di..?
Biwi: Oji, car ki break fail ho gayi hai,
Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai! |
Why did Santa sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept. |
Santa: Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When Banta asked what he was doing....
He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!! |
Postman: I had to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far? Instead U could have posted it. |
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman |
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga... |
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons
One day a pigeon reaches Banta without message
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call |
Santa, standing on platform, suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: You'll die.
Santa: You'll die. Haven't you heard that train is coming on the platform? |
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the notes from his books when teacher erases the board. |
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja... |
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, but only after u leave. |
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000?
Santa: I think I'll take the money. |
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi. |
Santa falls in love with a nurse...
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her:
"I love u sister." |
Banta ek sadhu se bola - Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? |
Banta to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Banta: So what, take an umbrella and go. |
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai,
Hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
Aur woh teeno kambhakt peete nahin. |
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai. |
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? |
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag.
The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what he said next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye. |
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata. |
Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the,
Ab use pehchan nahi pa raha. |
Teacher asked Santa: What is d meaning of Tamso Maa Jyotir Gamaya?
Santa: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya. |
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